“My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning. O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; And by night, but I have no rest. Yet You are holy, O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel. In You our fathers trusted; They trusted and You delivered them. To You they cried out and were delivered; In You they trusted and were not disappointed. But I am a worm and not a man, A reproach of men and despised by the people. All who see me sneer at me; They separate with the lip, they wag the head, saying, " Commit yourself to the LORD; let Him deliver him; Let Him rescue him, because He delights in him." Yet You are He who brought me forth from the womb; You made me trust when upon my mother's breasts. Upon You I was cast from birth; You have been my God from my mother's womb. Be not far from me, for trouble is near; For there is none to help. Many bulls have surrounded me; Strong bulls of Bashan have encircled me. Th...
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"Jesus, break my heart for what breaks yours." This has been a prayer of mine for quite a while now. Looking back, I don't think I was exactly sure what that meant, nor what it might cost...I still don't. But I never really thought that God would call me to this nursing thing for my own "making"...never truly thought that He would use it to answer that prayer even further. I have several unforgettable faces of people I have no doubt that the Lord willed me to be assigned to care for this year during clinicals at the hospital. I have seen a lot of suffering this year. The suffering of the physical ill, the dying, the depressed, and the mentally ill. Cancer, PTSD, Schizophrenia, domestic violence, and the pain of death; these are some of my unforgettables. Death has a distinct odor... A fowl one that is easily recognizable once experienced but not easily forgettable. Sometimes it is so overwhelming and causes me to want to just stop the care that needed ...
John 12:24-25 “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life looses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal.” At Calvary, Jesus, as the Grain of Wheat, died and rose again. And in His resurrection He brought forth much fruit-us (Rom. 6:5). "When I come to see my position in Christ I begin to experience the benefit of all that I am in Him. My daily state is developed from the source of my eternal standing. More and more the Lord is showing me that through the exercise of faith, my eternal position (source) affects my daily condition, but in no way does my condition affect that heavenly position. When I concentrate on my condition, I am not living by faith but by feelings and appearances. The inevitable result is that I become increasingly self-conscious and self-centered...
Commit your works to the LORD And your plans will be established. (Proverbs 16:3 NASB) Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it. (Psalms 37:5 NASB) Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. (Psalms 55:22 NASB) In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:6 NASB) "But he who listens to me shall live securely And will be at ease from the dread of evil." (Proverbs 1:33 NASB) Jesus speaks. He said that those who belong to Him hear His voice(John 10). But will I listen? Will I commit my way? My works? Will I cast my burden? Acknowledge Him in all my ways? Jesus cares...That is why He continually asks me to cast, commit, acknowledge, and listen. Elizabeth Elliot said, "He makes us wait. He keeps us on purpose in the dark beyond the moment. He makes us walk when we want to run, lie down when we want to walk, run when we want only to walk, for he h...
Thought I would share something my mama read this morning written by an American missionary. Her husband and four other young husband were killed by the tribe God sent them to with the gospel. They each left behind a wife and young children. Two of those wives and their children went to that same tribe not long after to finish what their husbands had attempted and God protected them. The very men who had speared their husbands received the gospel and testified they had seen angels hovering over their dead bodies. The wives lived among them for some years working to translate a Bible in their language. This is from a devotional of one of those wives. The Danger of Not Knowing God... We are meant to be witnesses for God - people who have seen and known Him and are willing to speak of what they see and know. Sometimes there is danger for such people - as in Russia, where it can mean forced labor, banishment, death. In China in the early 1930s a m...
Christmas Eve. Tonight my heart is in many places. It is in Aljaba with the three children, Vanny, Daniela, and Jorge, celebrating- I don’t know how- with Hermana Lucy. The soccer court empty, the play ground silent, the kitchen perfectly cleaned and in order; only the voices of three youth. My heart is also with all my friends from church celebrating Navidad with all amigos de fe after Christmas Eve service tonight. By now all are in their homes either with their families or friends or some alone. There are a few names that come to mind and I wonder if they have anyone. My heart is with Pastor Clauber and his familia in Brasil-the family who practically took me in as a daughter for a week and taught me what a simple and meaningful life is like not only for a missionary but also a native Brasilian. I think of Hermano Manuel and his family. The pastor I worked side by side with at Aljaba every day for the past six months; his beautiful wife and adorable long-eye lashed boy. He w...
It came no surprise to me that this past week was another holiday and school break for the kids. But this week end was different, because each year during theOctober school break, Ministerio de Misiones( my home church while here), Aljaba , and a brother church in Brazil all organize a camp for their youth-ages 12 to 19. Monday through Wednesday we had camp staff meetings then spent the rest of the days planning. I woke up at the crack of dawn Thursday-4:30am to be exact- and headed to the port with my tourist backpack to meet the campers and staff. Around 6:30 all 100 of us packed in three motor boats and took a thirty minute ride down the Amazon to a port in Peru. From there we hiked into the jungle for about an hour to the camp site. The hike was a blast! It was soggy, muddy, and rainy but so fun! Honestly, I didn't know what to expect of the facilities we would be staying in, so I lowered my expectations before going and prepared for ...