August 1

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(This post is a week over due because of the bad internet connection)


The past two weeks have been full of fun, excitement, and much blessing! We had two different teams come to visit us at Aljaba. The first was from Texas. They stayed at our house for a few days and were such an encouragement to me personally.
The second was a team from Bellevue! I had a few friends on that team before I came and made many more during the week. Bellevue took us to visit Monkey Island on Monday and held two days of devotions, fun, games and a 'World Cup' competition. Then the last two days included a trip to the zoo in Tabatinga, Brasil and to the property of the 'new Aljaba''-to praise and pray for God's blessing and provision. 
Then came the hardest part: The goodbyes. I watched as the team as they held children in their arms and wet their clothes with tears. It was such a beautiful moment...


The Lord reminded me of my prayer prior to my trip: "Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours." I realize now that I didn't truly know what that might cost. But after seeing and experiencing 'the goodbyes' once again, I was given a glimpse...For a week I watched The Lord fill this team with His love and compassion; then I watched Him empty it out onto the children (and many others). The result was ties of love that could never be broken, but felt as if they had been when distance separated them.
I had never thought that the result of a broken heart over the things that hurt Jesus the most could bring this kind of result...


It is painful when The Lord breaks our hearts for what breaks His!  The tie of His love and compassion is so strong, yet I have only experienced a glimpse of it! I cannot begin to describe what the cost of loving feels like.... At times God's love is so overwhelming that I feel like an emotional mess...like I might burst inside.
But there are still days that I am so calloused that I cannot feel, and days I am so stubborn in holding onto my will; but He makes me empty, so I can be filled. 
Other days I am in the darkness of loneliness longing for someone to hold me....
However, the result is a new me. I am made whole again...I am complete, because He is with me.
I want Him to be my one desire; I want Him to be my one true love, my breath, my everything. So I keep asking Him to break my heart for what breaks His...to keep making and molding and changing.



















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